How to End Mealtime Madness

Daniela and Marcel are very keen on making dinner time family time. But their almost four-year-old, Reuben, resists sitting at the table for more than a few minutes. He keeps getting up to play. Daniela and Marcel try negotiation/bribery: “If you sit for five minutes and eat six bites of chicken and three of broccoli, you can have extra dessert”; threats: “No books before bed if you don’t sit down and eat”; and logic: “You are going to be hungry if you don’t eat enough.”

None of these tactics is working, so Marcel and Daniela have started to allow Reuben to bring a tablet to the table and play games, despite the fact that they had sworn never to allow any screens during mealtimes. (Marcel wonders, “How is it that my three-year-old is extorting me??”) At the same time, they feel very sad about the fact that a fair share of the precious time they have with Reuben at the end of the day is spent with him diverted by a screen, but they feel helpless to effect a change. Without the incentive of the tablet, they don’t see how they can get Reuben to stay at the table for longer than two or three minutes. Even then, he is so distracted by the screen that he still doesn’t eat, provoking further power struggles. Daniela and Marcel are at a loss as to how to turn this mealtime situation around to create the kind of experience they feel would be healthy and loving for Reuben, and for them.

Why children draw parents into food battles