Through my collaboration with hundreds of parents over the past 30-plus years, I have identified eight mindsets that present obstacles to parents responding to their children in the most loving and effective way during difficult moments. These include thinking you can control your child and make her behave; and, fearing that tantrums are harmful to children. In this workshop, based on my 2021 book, Why Is My Child In Charge?, participants will become aware of these mindsets—the lens through which parents filter and respond to their children’s behaviors—which will empower you to make critical mindshifts that help you see your child’s behavior more objectively and respond with sensitivity as you help her cope with life’s inevitable challenges.

With big reactors, “gentle parenting” often doesn’t work. These kids tend to reject calming tools. Or, as one six-year-old explained, “I remember the tools before; I remember them after; I just don’t remember them in the middle.” They don’t like parents validating and talking about their emotions: it feels intrusive and overwhelming, and it often leads to responses like “Stop talking to me! Stop telling me that! I’m not sad!” When their brains and bodies are flooded with big emotions, the more their parents try to convince them to cooperate, the less likely they are to do so. They thrive on clear limits and boundaries. This doesn’t mean that parents of big reactors can’t be gentle—nor that big reactors aren’t gentle, sweet, wonderful, passionate kids a lot of the time. They are. This workshop will present key insights and tools that help parents thread the important needle of being connected, sensitive and responsive while also setting the limits big reactors need to learn to learn self-regulation and thrive. (See this article that describes what will be covered in this session.)

Unfortunately and unnecessarily, many parents today are terrified of the toilet training process, having heard horror stories from friends about the power struggles and stress they encountered.  Learning this skill should not and does not have to be fraught with conflict or worse, shame.  This workshop will address ways to approach toilet learning in a way that is developmentally appropriate, respectful to the child’s growing need to feel in control of his or her body, and frees parents from unnecessary stress and anxiety.  The workshop will also address ways to manage typical challenges that arise during the process.

Sleep is one of the most common and vexing challenges for parents. Sleep deprivation is so debilitating for parent and child. This workshop will address how to develop good sleep habits from the start, and how to address typical challenges that arise in helping children learn to soothe themselves to sleep and stay asleep throughout the night.

Defiance, tantrums, “not listening” and other challenging behaviors are a natural part of the development process as children learn to cope with difficult feelings and learn to accept limits.  This workshop will focus on how to tune in to the underlying meaning of your child’s behavior and how to respond in ways that help your child learn to cope in positive, pro-social ways.

We live in a world of limits, and the most successful people are those that have learned how to accept rules and limits and to get their needs met in positive, productive ways. So being a good limit-setter, and helping your child learn to cope with life’s frustrations and disappointments, is one of the greatest gifts you give your child.  This workshop will focus on how to set and enforce clear limits in a loving, empathic way, and to cope with the difficult feelings that naturally arise for both children and parents along the way.

Children who are highly sensitive (HS) by nature are wired to register their feelings and experiences in the world more deeply than other kids—both emotionally and from a sensory perspective. This means they get triggered into stress-mode more quickly than other children. They get overwhelmed and feel out of control of their big emotions and big reactions to sensory experiences which translates into more frequent and intense meltdowns and more difficulty coping with life’s inevitable challenges. This workshop will provide insight into the meaning of HS kids' behavior and what you can do to celebrate and support them.

Siblings do rival.  It’s a fact of family life, as each child is driven to define their individuality and worth within the family system.  Even so, the fighting and conflict that can sometimes seem incessant is naturally very distressing and wearing on parents who just want their kids to get along.  This workshop will help parents understand the roots of the rivalry and offer approaches to helping siblings ultimately work through the inevitable challenges they encounter in forging their lifelong relationship.

“You must eat 4 more pieces before dessert!” “If you don’t go to sleep this minute there is no ipad for you tomorrow!”  Sound familiar? If so, you are not alone.  Power struggles are maddening for parents, and it turns out, not so good for children either.  This workshop provides parents with new insights and strategies for ways to lovingly and appropriately encourage their child’s growing need to assert their independence while maintaining parental control—to put you back in charge where you belong. Struggles around feeding, potty training, cooperation and others will be addressed.

Temperament describes how children approach the world–how they take in and process their experiences.  It is why some children rush into new experiences without looking back, and others need time and support to feel comfortable with unfamiliar situations.  In this workshop, parents will learn about the different temperament traits, how to identify their child’s temperament, and how to adapt their parenting approach to meet the unique needs of their child.

"Relational aggression"—using the threat of removing friendship, ostracism, and other forms of social exclusion--starts as young as 3 years old. I see (and hear) it all the time as I consult at preschools:

“You talk like a baby. You can’t play with us.”

“I won’t invite you to my birthday party if you don't let me go first..."

The focus of this workshop is finding effective ways to reduce "mean" behavior goes beyond teaching kindness which often doesn't address the deep-seated feelings that cause children to act mean.

Screens are everywhere. They are a major new variable in young children’s development—another tool that is part of the mix of experiences they are exposed to and that affect their play and learning. But parents are very confused about how to make good choices around media use for their young children.  One article says using digital devices is critical for a child’s development, and the next best thing since sliced bread; another says exposure to screens is the root of all evil.   This session sets the record straight by presenting what the research tells us about the impact of screen use on young children, and what this means for assessing content—what is and isn’t educational; how much time children should spend using screens, and what role screens play in their child’s overall development.