When Your Child Has A Pessimistic Outlook

"Our little guy was having so much fun watching a mountain biking reel with his dad. He asked where the mountain was. When we told him it was in another country called Canada, he burst into tears. Through the sobbing he told us it was because he was never going to see that bike trail because he is never leaving Australia."

The mom who shared this story added: "I think the most exhausting part of having a HSC is not knowing what will throw them and turn our day into chaos."

Kids having this kind of negative thinking and pessimistic mindset is a common phenomenon for HSCs. Their deep thinking and analysis results in a lot of "what-ifs?" and worry that can take them to a dark place. I think that this is rooted in their intense need for control over their world. They feel overwhelmed on the inside because they don't have an "off" button; their brains are constantly working, trying to make sense of all they are processing. To cope, they try to control whatever they can on the outside. Thinking 20 steps ahead ensures they will be prepared for anything—to feel in control of all potential outcomes. Preparing for the worst protects them from the unexpected but can also lead to a bleak outlook, as evidenced by proclamations like: 

"I'm never going to be able to make it" (across the monkey bars.)

"We're never going to find it!" (The missing puzzle piece.)

"I'm never going to make friends at the new school. Nobody is going to like me."

Naturally, the parental impulse is to refute your child's proclamation—to talk them out of their negativity that feels so detrimental for them. We want them to have a "growth mindset" and feel optimistic and confident.
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The problem is that this kind of response rarely changes the child's perspective and can, in fact, exacerbate their negativity. They sense you are trying to talk them out of their feelings. In reaction, children often double down on their "position." Every one of your talking points is met with a more fierce rebuttal.