“It’s All Your Fault!” Why Your Child Blames You For Everything (and how to help kids learn to take responsibility for their mistakes)
“Do all 4-year-olds blame their mothers for all of their mistakes or when anything goes wrong?? My daughter drops pizza on the floor, I’m responsible. I get a drip of water from her toothbrush on her shirt and I did it on purpose. She falls off her scooter, I made it happen, and according to her, I should never have bought the scooter (she had begged for!) to begin with! Don’t I know that she HATES scooters?!”
I hear stories like these all the time from parents (and not just of 4 yo’s), and recall this charming phenomenon from my own days in the childrearing trenches.
With 20-20 hindsight, and decades of working with kids since mine were little, I have gained some insight into the roots of these reactions and what children need from us in these moments in order to learn to accept their failures and manage their mistakes—the ultimate goal.